Tears of Pearls
by CrimsonShinigami
Summary: 2+1. Death. Shounen-ai. Uses the song 'Tears of Pearls' by Savage Garden. Duo is an onlooker as Heero dies and he recalls all their times together unhappily.


__

And we stare each other down like victims in the grind   
Probing all the weakness and hurt still left behind and we cry   
The tears of pearls   


His cold eyes fixed on me for a few moments and I recall shivering weakly in the face of them, simply returning the gaze as best I could without trembling and falling to the ground like the weak man that I am. I recall how he seemed - even in his last moments like he was un-loving, uncaring for me...after I'd given my heart to him; After I'd given everything that made myself to him.

We simply stared at each other for as long as we ever had...and in those moments all I could think about were the moments when I tried desperately to show you how much I loved you. All those times when you never believed that love was real. You insisted that you didn't to yourself...and so the image came off onto me. It made me cry so many times. So now, staring down at you on your deathbed - a scraggly heap of twisted metal and dead plants lit up by the flames of ferocious fuel fires - I can do nothing but do the same.

__

Is love really the tragedy the way you might describe?   
Or would a thousand lovers still leave you cold inside?   
Make you cry these tears of pearls 

I never could touch you. A million times I had come to you willing and you did nothing...said nothing and you definitely felt nothing...you were as dead a weight as anything...you made me cry. You'd just treat me with the same cold with every single touch I gave to you...you never accepted me - you'd never accept any lover...and no matter how charismatic they could never change you.

You kept saying that a lover would get in your way - and when you weren't saying it you were thinking about saying it. You kept repeating it to yourself inside until you believed that love was worthless and only a triviality for the useless beings. But as I well know, love gives us such incredible power in battle...especially when it is our loved ones at stake...or in my case - revenge for their deaths. I kill for love.

  
_All these mixed emotions   
We keep locked away like stolen pearls   
Stolen pearls devotions we keep locked away from all the world   
_

I know you've killed innnocents...I know as well as anyone else. But you have to remember that innocents unfortunately are a throw out of war. That's why there should be no wars...I decided that long ago. As the God of Death I only kill the guilty...but unfortunately - for me too - the innocent sometimes get in the way. If you'd just cry about it maybe someone would help.

But you don't...you just sit there, act all stoic like you don't care at all...that isn't the way and I know it. You keep your emotions - every single little one - locked away where no one can get to them...I just want to plunge my hand in and take them from you. I do know that you have them...and it frustrates me no end that you won't talk about them, and that you won't accept them for what they are. Accept them please. I need your love.

__

Your kisses are like pearls, so different and so rare   
But anger stole the jewels away and love has left you bare,   
Made you cry these tears of pearls 

When was the last time you gave me such a gift? A kiss? It was a beautiful moment...but that was so long ago...and it only happened a few times before you hardened up again...realised that there was no escape for you as a soldier and sacrificed my love...I still keep giving it though...

But when the war caught you and an innocent left this world...well...that was it wasn't it? You realised your mistake at letting love of protecting them over take you with anger. Finally you brushed that anger away and resolved never to let love touch you again. A pity for me though.

__

  
Well I could be the tired joker pour my heart to get you in   
Sacrifice my happiness just so I could win   
Maybe cry these tears of pearls 

I'm tired of the game now...as I stare down into your face I resolve that it's over...that in the future I shan't try to get someone like you; someone as hardened by life as the outside of his head.

No. In the future I think I'll stick to easy prey...prey that won't drain my heart of so much love that I'm likely to have a heart attack through the lack of it. No. It won't happen again. I'm through with giving up everything that is mine just to win over you...because I can't win.

  
_All these mixed emotions   
We keep locked away like stolen pearls   
Stolen pearls devotions we keep locked away from all the world _

Now as I look down at you I finally realise that you're dying...that this is the end of you. Your pleading blue eyes peer up at me and I fall to my knees with a weak cry. I don't touch you...maybe they cane save you yet. There are medics on the way.

I demand that you live...tell you that you're indestructible, that nothing is going to get in your way. I stroke your face softly and you simply turn your head away from me and close your eyes. Like I said - even in your last moments your insist that there is nothing between us. Well there damn well should be.

  
_We twist and turn where angels burn   
Like fallen soldiers we will learn:  
That once forgotten, twice removed   
Love will be the death the death of you _

Without you we're over. We cannot fight without you because in the end it is always you who is the decider in our battles. But now, as I see the dark, hazy figure of death move towards us and I bow my head in resignation, one tiny little slither of hope moves to my ears and I smile softly in recognition lifting my eyes to gaze down at you. I then lower my lips to yours to catch them softly as death grips you in his arms.

'I love you, Duo.'

  
_All these mixed emotions   
We keep locked away like stolen pearls   
Stolen pearls devotions we keep locked away from all the world. _


End file.
